Unbelievable – Bacon Explosion

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/28/dining/28bacon.html?no_interstitial

Just look at this and try not to be amazed.

Week 8: The Luther

 

 

 

 

 

 

             January 16th – January 22nd

Friday: Philly Cheese Steak and Mac n’ Cheese

Saturday: BBQ Ribs w/ scalloped potatoes and green beans

Sunday: Penni a la Vodka w/ garlic bread

Monday: Kielbasa w/ egg noodles and baked beans

Tuesday: Chicken Parmesan w/ rice and corn

Wednesday: Spaghetti and Meat Sauce

Thursday: Chicken and Gravy w/ green beans and rice

Week 7: Pork Chop

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 9th - January 15th

Friday: Macaroni and Cheese

Saturday: Grilled Cheese and Chicken Noodle Soup

Sunday: Bye (League Meet)

Monday: Kielbasa w/ baked beans and egg noodles

 

Tuesday: Pork Chops w/ white rice, corn and applesauce

 

Wednesday: Spaghetti and Meat Sauce

 

Thursday: Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

 

 

Week 6: Spaghetti and Meat Sauce

January 5th - January 8th

Monday: Kielbasa w/ baked beans and egg noodles

Tuesday: Chicken Parmesan w/ Rice and Corn

Wednesday: Spaghetti and Meat Sauce

Thursday: Beef Stew and Egg Noodles

Week 5: Fear

December 8th - December 14th

Monday: Kielbasa w/ baked beans and egg noodles

Tuesday: Meatloaf w/ mac n’ cheese and green beans

Wednesday: Spaghetti and Meat Sauce w/ garlic bread

Thursday: Roast Beef w/ mashed potatoes and corn

Friday: Placed on Disable List (missing teeth)

Saturday: DL (Substitute: Box of Mac n’ Cheese)

Sunday:  Penni a la Vodka w/ garlic bread

This week, I had to endure something no man should ever endure: the sight of his family enjoying delicious meals before his eyes while I sit beside them with a cup of applesauce in front of me.  I swallowed my pride and took a painkiller as I left dinner table discouraged, in pain and disappointed to lengths I have rarely experienced before in my entire life.  I was hungry and I couldn’t do anything about it.

On Friday at approximately 10:30AM, I underwent oral surgery and had my wisdom teethremoved.  easily the worst decision of my life.  First of all, I couldn’t eat in the 12 hours prior to the surgery (it was actually about 15 hours, now that I reflect), and the surgery left my mouth in a degree of agony that disallowed myself to even consider chewing of any sorts.  I came home and hit the couch like a dead-weight, knowing what potential (or rather, lack of potential) my near future had in store.

My stomach was rumbling when I was awakenned for dinner.  My family was enjoying a nice three-course meal (whatever it was, I actually managed to block it out of my memory) while I sat hopelessly in front of a cup of applesauce.  I looked fear in the eye and persevered, enduring the small meal I was served and going to bed shortly after.

The next day, I no longer cared for the pain.  I didn’t care if my stitches were ripped out.  I was going to eat anything I felt like.  I woke up, had a banana, took a pain pill and continued to devour anything that was available and did not require chewing.  The injured gums were feeling it, but I didn’t care: hunger outweighed fear, and it was so worth it. 

Stomach 1 – Sanity 0.

I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t get your wisdom teeth removed if you like eating food.  It will greatly inhibit your ability to do so.  Not that I have any more wisdom teeth to get pulled, but I highly discourage the whole process.  If you can avoid it, I definitely suggest following that route.  Any way, bye Day 3, I’m now consuming foods that simply require swallowing, like pastas and some breads and lots of cranberry juice.  I’ll get through this alive, hopefully.

Terrible News

I’ve been placed on the disabled list due to my wisdom teeth getting pulled on Friday, December 12th.  I cannot eat anything hard for about a week while these stitches are still in.  Thus, I do not know what future meals lie ahead for me or even if I can eat anything but applesauce and pudding.  I’ll tread on however and try to fulfill my weekly updates to the best of my ability.  (I’m blaming all grammatical errors on the intense medication)

Week 4: Keilbasa w/ Egg noodles and Baked Beans

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

December 1st - December 7th

Monday: Kielbasa w/ baked beans and egg noodles

Tuesday: Spaghetti and Meat Sauce

Wednesday: Pork chops w/ green beans and mac N’ cheese

Thursday: Chicken Parmesan w/ white rice and corn

Friday: Bye (Benvenuti’s Pizza)

Saturday: Turkey w/ corn, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce

Sunday: Tuckey Sandwiches w/ stuffing and cranberry sauce

If you’ve been paying attention over the past few weeks, you’d notice that this meal is the the household’s customary Monday cuisine.  More importantly, you can attack it anyway you’d like.  I like to devour the egg noodles in a quick-like fashion, mainly to make more room on my plate for dipping the remaining to features of the dish.  The noodles slide so easily down the throat that, while chewing is still recommended, it is unnecessary and a waste of time if you are in a hurry to encounter the rest of the meal.  Next, I go to the baked beans, and with a similar fashion.  Occasionally, if they are too hot, I’ll burn the top of mouth, but that does not take away anything from the succulent taste of the beans.  Savor them, but not too much, as you approach the grand finale.  Make sure you leave some of the baked bean sauce on your plate, as it’s time for the kielbasa, and it is the perfect concoction to use as dip.  Take each slice of the kielbasa and swipe it through the sauce and then chew vigorously in anticipation of the next piece already on the end of your fork.  The meal is gone in 3 minutes on a day after practice or one without lunch, and there are always a few leftovers that can be used as seconds.  This weekly dish is in high demand and always a success.

Week 3: Thanksgiving (continued…)

 November 24th – November 30th

Monday: Kielbasa w/ baked beans and egg noodles

Tuesday: Bye (Football Dinner)

Wednesday: O-Noodles w/ meat sauce

Thursday: Thanksgiving (at Uncle Kevin’s)

Friday: Leftovers (all previous dishes)

Saturday: Bye (II Brothers’ Pizza and Mike’s Birthday Cake)

Sunday: Roast Beef w/ corn, mashed potatoes and biscuits

A quick review of Thanksgiving – The food was everything that I had anticipated, even better due to the fact that it was actually in my mouth as opposed to my imagination.  There was turkey everywhere: mouths, stomachs, plates, forks, tables, floors, dogs, babies; wherever it was, it was delicious.  Stuffing and cranberry sauce lined every inch of my stomach to the point where I thought I was going to puke, but as usual, I managed to hold it down.  There were not as many rolls as I had liked there to be, but I enjoyed my post-dinner turkey sandwiches very thoroughly.  As far as the dance competition is concerned (and yes, I know you were just dying to know), it was postponed until Christmas, so we can prepare for our performances (preview my routine by clicking here, Natalie Imbruglia not included).  It was replaced with the less creative burp contest, which, of course, went to the only cousin who works for a beer company.  He said his experience in the promotions industry surely paid off.  Overall, Thanksgiving was a success. My only regret is that I wish there was some leftover turkey in my own fridge so that I could thoroughly enjoy it for the following week.

 

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Day Special

Thanksgiving is the greatest holiday ever.  It is the American celebration of food.  And I love food.

Every year I go to my Uncle Kevin’s for this feast of feasts.  He cooks two large turkeys himself, as well as multiple side dishes in preparation for the 4 o’clock dinner.  All my other relatives contribute as well, each bringing at least one dish, assorting from green bean casseroles to scrumptious apple pies.  The list of tasty delights goes on and on for the 40-50 guests that come every year to the Thanksgiving feast.  Surely, outside of food, there is football on TV, the inevitable dance contest (the reigning champ speaking) and the unstoppable Krissy who’s always on the prowl to destroy my evening.  It surely is an event like no other.

But with the anticipation of the holiday growing, so does my appetite.  Let me entail the portions of food I will be consuming on Turkey Day (be aware, these are estimates):

• Breakfast (undetermined)
• Light Lunch (probably like a PB&J or something of equivalent size)
• At least 1 lb. of turkey, combined between the original dinner and the turkey sandwiches’ free agent period.
• At least five rolls, most of which for said turkey sandwiches.
• Stuffing, and hopefully all of it.
• A large variety of vegetables that will give me and everyone else terrible flatulence issues.
• Enough cranberry sauce that the average man would vomit uncontrollably.
• Probably 12x the recommended dose of pie (if such thing exists).
• 5 or 6 large chocolate chip cookies.
• A small child (if Uncle Kevin agrees to put Krissy in the oven, but that remains unlikely; a boy can always dream…).

Each with its own characteristics that feeds the whole, or rather, the empty hole in my stomach.  The various textures and flavors that invigorate the taste buds drives will drive any hungry man wild.  I am extremely excited to experience the dream: the dream of a better future, the dream of delicious delicacies, the dream of a young man with an overwhelming appetite.

Week 2: Meatloaf

November 17th – November 23th

Monday: Kielbasa w/ baked beans and egg noodles

Tuesday: Meatloaf w/ mashed potatoes and green beans

Wednesday: Spaghetti and Meat-Sauce

Thursday: Chicken Parmesan w/ white rice and corn

Friday: Philly Cheese Steaks and Mac N’ Cheese

Saturday: Chicken w/ green beans, stuffing and biscuits

Sunday: Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

No home menu would be complete without the implementation of a good hearty meatloaf.  I mean, what’s cooler than a huge wad of meat cooked with ketchup on it?  Answer: tons of things, but they probably don’t taste as good as my mother’s meatloaf does.  You slice up the 2-3 lbs of ground beef blended together with ease as it is no thicker than the mash potatoes that lay happily beside it, both just waiting to be consumed.  Preferably, you should continue to drench it in ketchup, but if you don’t like that (you weirdo), every piece inserted will still melt in your mouth upon insertion.  The loaf is delicious, it is succulent, and it provides nourishment; it is the teat to the baby if my meal were to be compared to the diet of an infant, but let’s not go into that any further.  It may be the most mindless way to cook ground beef, but I will never tire of its magnificent splendor.  And along with the green beans and a hearty glass of whole milk, this three-course meal will satisfy anyone with a hunger for excellence.

Introductory Post

This blog will report on the food my mother prepares for me on a weekly basis.   In each post, I will provide a menu of what dishes were served at dinnertime just to make you jealous.  Even worse, I’ll select one dish in particular each week and indulge on the taste-tingling savor that you’re missing out on.  If you’re not a creeper or someone of equivalent danger to me, there’s a poor chance, but still a chance, you can attend one of my household’s fantastic feasts and become entranced like everyone else who has attended one of our meals.

Week 1: Chicken Parmesan

November 10th – November 16th

Monday: Kielbasa w/ baked beans and egg noodles

Tuesday: Pork chops w/ white rice and green beans

Wednesday: Spaghetti and Meatballs

Thursday: Chicken Parmesan w/ rice and corn

Friday: Double Cheeseburger w/ tater tots and onion rings

Saturday: Ham and Mac n’ Cheese w/ pineapples, and corn

Sunday: Beef Stew and Egg Noodles

 

The Chicken Parmesan is an interesting piece of splendor.  A hearty chicken breast covered thick in tomato sauce and glazed over with fine mozzarella cheese.  When you cut it open, the heat of the meat turns to stem and rises directly into your face where you can feel the meal.  It is almost as if you are sweating in anticipation of consuming the chicken.  As soon as you have sliced it into a suitable portion, the world grows silent.  The chicken moves slowly towards your mouth and then inserts itself.  The spine tingles as the tongue savors the flavor of the dish.  As you chew, all you can do is think about the next piece you want to cut off and absolutely devour.  The tomato and mozzarella combination will drive the taste buds wild until the last piece no longer remains.  Along with the white rice and kennel corn, this delicious three-course meal is a statement piece of my mother’s kitchen.